


A Guide to Life by a Supposed Heartfllia

by PerpetualChaos



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Body Image, Depression, F/M, Found Family, I'm looking at these tags and it sounds so much more depressing than it actually is, Manipulation, Original Character(s), Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reincarnation, Unreliable Narrator, even if Lucy doesn't acknowledge it...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27033133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerpetualChaos/pseuds/PerpetualChaos
Summary: Jacquelyn is supposed to be dead and isn't. Lucy should be alive and isn't. Jacquelyn's trying to fix that, of course. At least, she's trying to make sure the world doesn't fall apart because one Lucky Lucy Hearfilia lost the apparent game of life to Jacquelyn's dead, dead self.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. The Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be long, spanning the entire series and probably Fairy Tail 100 Year Quest material too, since this is mainly written for my own enjoyment. I wanted a super dysfunctional person frantically trying to get their life and issues together enough to, you know, survive all the bullshite and keep the world from ending.

She’d taken being reincarnated as a fictional character in an equally fictional world better than most would’ve, Jacquelyn's certain.

Granted, she _may_ have been...less than civil towards Jude Heartfilia (that was putting it kindly) for neglect he’d yet to inflict, but! He’d totally deserved it! Even though her supposed father had moped and made _puppy eyes_ of all things for days after Jacquelyn had bitten him for stealing her from her wonderful new mother’s embrace…

Alright. Maybe she’d been a bit mean back then. Still, what _else_ would Jacquelyn have been able to do other than act on grudges that weren’t her’s? She hadn’t been able to talk yet and boredom was metaphorically killing her!

Now though, being locked in her rooms is _actually_ killing her! Who cares if there's a giant en-suite bathroom with a tub that might as well be a swimming pool, or that her closet is stuffed to the brim with expensive princess gowns.

Lucy Heartfilia sighs, Jacquelyn's grumblings tiring her rather than inspiring action. She’s 10 now, physically anyway, and her mother’s dying.

It’s not something she can prevent, at least not without keeping five dragon slayers stuck forever in the past and leaving Acnologia to run wild, so…

So Jacquelyn Russel lets the mask she’s wearing slip into place, and Lucy pouts, crying because of hurried staff that forgot their young charge in their hurry to deal with her mother’s worsening condition (Not that Lucy should actually know about that, Jude’s kept his daughter well away from such heartbreak), her father having ordered her to be locked away.

Lucy’s tears are the selfish want for attention all children have, but Jacquelyn's are the same tired acceptance she experienced so much in her past life.

It’s funny, in a dull sort of way, how she continues to separate herself. They’re the same person really, it’s just that Lucy is only allowed to show certain reactions while Jacquelyn releases her stress through silent snark and sleeping in.

And magic.

The remembrance of something that sparks life into _both_ her selves means Lucy looks up from where she’s curled against her bed, eyes puffy and cheeks tear-stained. She glances next to her where three keys, two silver and the other gold, sit comfortably against the carpet. She carries the silvers everywhere she can, while Lucy found the gold only an hour or so ago in her bathroom, resting on the counter. Lucy had made sure to wash her hands _thrice_ before daring to pick it up.

She picks them up now, small hand grasping the unequal metals. “Is Mama still okay?” Her voice quivers, and the keys _burn_ in response. Aquarius’ golden key especially seems to scream against her skin, and Lucy can imagine her spirit berating the Heartfilia heiress for asking such a stupid question. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, bringing the keys to rest against her forehead. The warm metal should be comforting, but…

Lucy could’ve tried to help Layla, somehow. Her mother’s been sick with magic deprivation for _weeks_ , and yet the only doctors Jude thought to call were those with no magic in their blood. She could’ve told him _exactly_ what was driving her mother to death, and her father’s money would have ensured success.

Or maybe Lucy could have let Layla use some of her own celestial magic to help. It wouldn’t be much at Lucy’s age, but perhaps just that little bit more magic would have prevented Layla’s death.

But Jacquelyn thought it best to avoid changing what she knew, and Mama isn’t Mom, just like Papa isn’t Dad.

A searing pain interrupts Lucy’s less than pleasant thoughts, and the blonde yelps, tossing the keys before they burn her. Lucy scowls, unhappy with the forceful stopping of her darker thoughts. She can’t tell if Crux and Lyra are in on it, but Aquarius had most definitely led the charge on forbidding such emotions.

“A little self-hate is normal,” she scoffs. Typically she’d be more careful, weighing every word and action against the genuine Lucy Heartfilia, but Jacquelyn's in no mood for games at the moment. She’s bitter, and upset, and it’s _her own_ **_fault_**.

The worst part is that even if she could go back in time at this moment, Lucy wouldn't change anything. She’d still let Layla Heartfilia die, because she’s an ungrateful child who fears a loss of control over the future more than anything else, especially after having her life cut too short already.

Lucy reaches forward to grasp her keys again and apologize for throwing them (even if they _did_ try to burn her), when she hesitates. Her emotions are still lashing out at herself for the most part, and while Lyra and Crux are respectful enough, Lucy knows Aquarius won’t hesitate to actually burn her, new master or not.

(Which really isn’t fair since Aquarius is the one that chose Lucy by showing up in her bathroom!)

Sighing, Lucy closes her eyes and takes a moment to sort through and catalog her emotions in a way she’s always been far too good at for her own good. When her eyes finally open, the chocolate color is dulled, a tired hue staining them.

Lucy collects the keys as she hums a tune Mama once taught her, Lyra’s silver key pulsing in response to the melody. Smiling, Lucy decides to take advantage of the best way she knows to control.

“Open. Gate of the Lyre! Lyra!”

Although Lucy intended to summon the spirit quietly, her excitement gets the better of her as it often seems to with magic. A harsh golden glow fills the formerly dark bedroom, the magic wrapping Lucy in a cozy cocoon of warmth.

“Lucy!” A young girl bawls, looking only a few years older than Lucy herself. The spirit flies right into her summoner, hugging Lucy with a passion that had once solely belonged to her mother in this world.

Tears fill her chocolate eyes once more as she grasps Lyra’s frilly sleeves. Lucy’s voice wobbles as she speaks, “Sorry. Sorry, I said I wouldn’t call you so much, but I…”

“Shh... It’s okay! You never call me enough anyway,” Lyra hushes, her gentle voice a lullaby of its own. Her words are probably true, since unlike the Lucy that should be here, Jacquelyn's aware of the time difference between the Celestial Spirit Realm and Earthland. Knowing that makes it harder to call on her more than once or twice a week.

Distantly, as Lyra continues to cling, bawl, and speak reassurances, Lucy wonders if the reason Lyra’s contract was so strict in the original material because little Lucy called upon her so much the spirit didn’t even have time to rest due to how much quicker time passes in the Celestial Spirit Realm.

It makes sense, especially since Lyra was her very first key. A genuine five-year old Lucy probably wouldn’t have remembered a contract, if one had been made at all. Of course, Layla probably would’ve assured _something_.

“Sing me to sleep, please?”

“Of course, Lucy!” Lyra’s response is far more energetic than Lucy’s murmur, but the child smiles at the energy shone anyway. Jacquelyn's always liked louder people, finding it relaxing to allow herself to be swallowed up by someone else’s tempo.

Lyra fusses and frets as she tucks her charge in, before perching herself comfortably on air and reaching for her harp... _not_ lyre. Upon asking, Lucy had learned some former master of her’s had appreciated the instrument better and taught the spirit to play it as well.

Lucy drifts off, and instead of waking up in the late morning to cuddles from her mother, Lucy wakes up entirely alone, still in the darkness of early hours.

She stays in her room past breakfast, no concerned servant sent to fetch her, and probably would have continued to play with Gonzales Michelle Heartfilia (not that the doll _knows_ of the silent middle name Lucy bestowed it. She’d been too worried the anime-only arc might give a different name to the doll-turned-human, if the arc happens at all.) had Mrs. Spetto not come in.

“Oh, Miss Lucy…” The older woman sighs, gray staining her brown hair and wrinkles lining her face.

Lucy’s quiet for a moment too long as she tries to piece together how the genuine character might have acted, before deciding to metaphorically fuck it and just say whatever comes to mind.

“Is Mama okay?” Mrs. Spetto’s already worry-lined face crumbles at the question, confirming what Jacquelyn's known all along.

July 7 X777 is a hard date to forget, and Layla’s been dying ever since it passed.

“That’s okay,” Lucy reassures quietly, turning back to her favorite doll. The hollowness isn't fading from her chest, but it’s such a familiar absence of emotion to Jacquelyn that she can’t work up any other reaction.

The _real_ Lucy probably would’ve thrown a tantrum by now, but Jacquelyn, for all her snark, has never been able to grasp the emotions required to throw such a fit. They always felt too numb, never reaching a stage beyond vague annoyance or an absentminded sympathy.

Mrs. Spetto doesn’t seem to agree with Lucy’s words, if the quiet sobs the woman releases are any indication, but Lucy doesn’t bother to try and reassure her again. She might have if she were older, but a child doesn’t need to be the one to soothe an adult’s worries, especially when said worries have yet to even be vocalized.

She’d fallen into that sort of trap too much in her past life.

Freezing, a mild sort of panic surfaces in Lucy as arms wrap around her, the skin belonging to them tanned and rough from a well-lived life. “I’m sorry, child..,” her governess murmurs, pulling Lucy against her chest.

Lucy forces herself to relax into the hold, accepting the show of affection without struggle despite the fear physical contact strikes within Jacquelyn. Lucy herself is fine, after all. 

She’s never been hit, she’s never had to smile through touches she doesn’t like, she’s never been...hurt.

Lucy’s fine.

Lucy’s fine, and Jacquelyn's… Jacquelyn's dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter than what will usually be posted, but blargh. It's setup for Jacquelyn. This chapter is pretty down, but it gets better next chap, and even better once Jacquelyn joins Fairy Tail. Hope you enjoyed, and comments are much appreciated!


	2. Perception is important

Lucy arrives in Hargeon much more fashionably than her original self had, wearing a light yellow dress with a sweetheart neckline and an oversized blue cardigan that would probably spell trouble for someone with less heat tolerance. Her hair, long and blonde, is twisted into a braid and rests over her shoulder. It’s much longer than it should be, but Lucy likes the length too much to cut it. Her shoes are more practical than the rest of her attire being travel-friendly boots, but even they are perhaps a little too pretty for the amount of walking Lucy does.

A golden chain dangles down into her chest, hiding the one key she keeps separate; Aquarius. Her others are tucked away in her cardigan’s hidden inner pocket, different from the pouch she should’ve adorned but hopefully less likely to be dropped.

Absentmindedly humming, Lucy lifts her keyring up to glance through all of them. So many, and yet not enough… Her finger brushes past her newest addition, the silver Nicola.

Smiling, Lucy takes a moment to summon Plue. Considering she’s been in Hargeon for about a week now, she _had_ to get the little spirit. Suppressing the instinctive flash of magic the action brought so that it wasn’t obvious she’d summoned something, Lucy grins at the shivering dog constellation. “Hey, Plue. I’m just wandering around now, wanna join?”

Plue nods eagerly, his entire body tilting with the motion, and Lucy laughs at his response as she picks him up to cradle to her chest. She’s been summoning him as often as possible since she got him (for a cheaper price than she should’ve, because she’d feigned disinterest a _lot_ better than the real Lucy) to train her magic reserves. It’s something to do as she waits for ‘Salamander’ to arrive at least, since she arrived at Hargeon earlier than she _should’ve_.

(There are a lot of _shoulds_ in Lucy’s life.)

Screams suddenly echo through the street, high-pitched and feminine, and Lucy’s perpetual smile cools. “Speak of the Devil and he shall appear, hm? I wonder how long it’ll take Natsu to get here, though… I’m bored already. Although it’s probably a good thing I managed to find a job since the plot is taking so long.”

Plue is looking at her, understanding her but unable to speak any language she recognizes, so Lucy just smiles. “I’m alright, Plue. I just need to give Mr. Brownings notice that I’ll be leaving soon. He probably won’t take longer than another week, right?”

Plue shivers, and Lucy sighs.

“Right then. Maybe I should get some extra hours while I can. But before that… Maybe an autograph?”

* * *

Lucy arrives at Brownings’ Brownies with time to spare for her shift with no autograph and a lot more jewel, her pink satchel noticeably heavier.

“Maybe I should feel guilty,” Lucy explains to Plue as she changes into the bakery’s uniform. It’s a mainly pink dress with some brown accents consisting of the pocket over her heart and the belt. It’s cute, and Lucy approves. “About cheating those girls, I mean. They’re under a spell, it’s not _entirely_ their fault they’re acting like idiots and bankrupting themselves over a fake’s signature, but _still_. The spell just makes you fall in love. It doesn’t destroy your mental capabilities. I know. I researched the thing.

“So the fact that they’re being idiots about being in love is entirely their own fault… Although maybe I shouldn’t talk, considering I’m knowingly going to walk into a human trafficking ring. To be fair though, if I don’t follow the plot Ze may never die, or the world may be plunged into war, and that’s just sad.

“To wrap up,” Lucy continues, persevering with her explanation through Plue’s seeming indifference. She’s probably been without friends for too long if her habit of narrating her life is rearing its ugly head again, and she’s going to have to watch herself to make sure she doesn’t say anything in Fairy Tail. She’s given up on Plue, and is mostly satisfied that he seems content to let events play out too. “I’m making stupid decisions because it’s going to save the world, while the only thing those crazy girls are accomplishing is debt. At least auctioning off that creep’s autograph netted me a lot of jewel. Money makes the world go ‘round, and all that. If Father could see me now.”

She ties off her ponytail with a brown ribbon, and takes a second to admire her handiwork in the mirror before slipping on the brown apron that proudly displays the bakery logo. Cancer’s hair obsession has really rubbed off on her the past two years, and she is proud to say her styling skills and maintenance routine is probably on par with a professional, even if she’s still horrid compared to Cancer himself.

“Thanks, Cancer.” Lucy smiles, just in case he’s checking in on her. “Now let’s go, Plue.”

The work day drones on, probably not helped by Lucy’s continued summon of Plue. The spirit only uses a small amount of magic, but the constant drain wears, chipping away at her mental fortitude just as much as the interaction.

She is starting to become a known fixture at Brownings’ though, which is probably why her shift is so exhausting today. Come see Lucy, Browning’ Brownies very own celestial wizard! It probably wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t summon Plue, but Lucy keeps him out anyway. It means more small talk, but it also means working on her magic reserves and magic trumps absolutely everything in Lucy’s mind.

Eventually, just as everything does, Lucy’s shift ends. She unties her apron and picks up Plue, ready to change and give her boss a week’s notice.

Lucy leaves Brownings’ mildly contemplating murder, too tired for any real emotion to work its way into her brain. She still has Plue summoned because she hates herself and her life and everything except magic, but doesn’t bother sharing these plans as speaking aloud requires energy she doesn’t possess.

Mr. Brownings had kept her far later than necessary to try and tempt her into continued employment, and she was _done_. Lucy had told him when she first asked for a job that she wouldn’t be in Hargeon for too long, and he had accepted. Of course now that she’s proven to be far more popular than he’d expected of just “a pretty face” he decided to make her life difficult. Of _course_.

She has gotten some extra hours though, so yay. (Lucy doesn’t even want them anymore, but remembering the amount she was _supposed_ to complain about rent, Lucy can’t bring herself to turn them down.)

Lucy takes the long way back to her cheap motel, window shopping for a good formal dress to wear for human trafficking since she’ll need to buy something soon if she doesn’t want to be rushed. She could just buy what she was _supposed_ to wear, but Lucy wants to actually like the dress… Then again, maybe the original Lucy’s hairstyle had thrown her off. She should probably at least try it on since it matched Natsu ridiculously well.

“Hello there, miss,” a voice she strongly considers strangling asks. Lucy politely turns around anyway, a smile on her lips and thoughts in her head.

“Hello, ‘Salamander’.”

He seems vaguely put off by her cool tone, especially after handing her that autograph earlier today, and Lucy buries the growing annoyance that this day is becoming so far down he’ll need a shovel to dig it out. Her smile becomes a little more genuine once she does.

“I’m sorry, Salamander. Work was a chore, and I’m not very sociable when I’m only barely standing. What does my favorite Fairy Tail mage have to ask?”

The blatant sarcasm is lost beneath her acting, and he preens. Lucy idly considers stabbing him and letting the world burn when he finally gets around to saying what he wants. “I’m throwing a little party on my yacht in a week. I don’t normally RSVP, but for you, my dear…”

“Really?” Lucy’s hands clap together, squishing Plue against the ample chest she hates and drawing Bora’s eyes there as well. Mourning the loss of a smaller chest size is something she’ll never truly escape.

“ _Really_.”

Yeah, she would like to stab him now, please.

The conversation ends after several more increasingly vivid ways of murder are imagined and Lucy manages to hold her tongue only until she and Plue are in her motel room, safely away from prying ears. “We should get you a knife, Plue. It seems like a wonderful idea, doesn’t it?”

Plue shivers.

* * *

The rest of the week passes without incident, work busy and exhausting and Plue almost constantly summoned. She’s had to bribe him to stay out since Lucy’s been going over their contract, but luckily for her Plue has a fatal weakness for sweets and her job is at a bakery.

She has managed to go shopping, and has indeed settled on the dress Lucy actually wears. It feels almost demeaning to choose something so far from her actual tastes, but the problem about that is how different her body type is in this life. In the past, she’d been the kind of slim that was perpetually underweight despite constant snacks. Jacquelyn had picked things that were long, flowing, and simply refused to look as good on an hourglass figure.

Lucy _really_ wishes she had her past self’s body type. She preferred the childish naivete she’d been able to get away with to blonde ditz, even if the actual acting is similar. She’s always been aware of how appearance changes perception, but the amount of leers she’s had to deal with in Lucy’s body is unrealistic and disgusting considering acting the same in her past life had caused so many of her classmates to see her as a sort of little sister.

At least Cancer agreed to do her hair, so she probably won’t hate herself.

Lucy dances out of the way of a couple of emotionally compromised (and incredibly _rude_ , they need to watch where they’re running) young women before following them. She’s been checking up on Bora’s scheme practically everyday to make sure she doesn’t miss Natsu, and she’s more than a little eager for the pyromaniac to finally arrive.

She clutches Plue a little tighter to her chest, absently remembering doing the same with Michelle (sorry, Gonzales) as a child until her assigned etiquette teacher had stolen her away. Once she arrives, she has little trouble avoiding sharp elbows and clustered feet. Her statue may not have reincarnated with her, but it had been easy enough to relearn the art of sliding through crowds unnoticed.

Bora, as ever, is causing a scene and Lucy makes sure to paste an appropriately lovestruck expression on her face. She’s half certain he’s figured something’s off about her by now, but isn’t too worried. All Lucy has to do is ease him into the assurance that she isn’t going to blow his operation, and he’ll be satisfied he’s won whatever game they’re playing.

“Hey! Move it,” a male voice that is definitely not Bora or a victim to the love charm shouts. Lucy’s lips curve into a sharper smile as Natsu Dragneel bursts through the crowd with none of her grace.

‘Finally’, she barely refrains from whispering. He’s a dragon slayer, so Lucy doesn’t want to risk his ears hearing anything… And wow, she just realized how absolutely ruined she would’ve been had she been reborn as Cubelios. Cobra would have heard _everything_. The plot would be ruined beyond repair, and while Lucy’s confident enough in herself that she would’ve been able to manipulate Cobra into standing by, that kind of knowledge would brew _resentment_.

(And Lucy’s had enough of that for two lifetimes, thank you.)

She watches, perpetual smile and all, as Bora instigates chaos and winks at her before fleeing, party invitations wafting through the air.

Maybe she can convince Aquarius to help her torture him. It seems like the kind of bonding experience her most temperamental spirit would enjoy.

Lucy politely stands by as the crowd of girls leave Natsu confused, annoyed, and more than a little suspicious of imminent attack when Lucy comes into his view, Plue already sent back to the celestial world. “That creep was using a love charm, banned a few years back. Thanks for distracting me long enough to realize it!” She gives him her brightest smile and makes sure to blush since that seems like something a young girl might do when embarrassed about being caught unawares by a love charm. “Wanna get something to eat? I’ll buy, as thanks.”

And that, Lucy thinks as Natsu brightens, is the end of that and the beginning of everything else.

* * *

Lucy takes another bite of her salad (she’s been eating too many leftovers at the bakery recently, and even her sweet tooth recognizes when she needs something healthy) as she eyes Natsu’s eating habits with a little trepidation. She’d hoped the animated format of _Fairy Tail_ had exaggerated his bad table manners, but alas. It’s too bad they don’t know each other well enough yet for her to comment; It just wouldn’t be polite.

She takes another second to consider her other topics to chat about, her introduction, workplace and experiences in Hargeon practically exhausted.

“His name’s Bora, since you asked earlier," Lucy says, finally settling on what she thinks is the proper conversation course. "He’s apparently some big-shot wizard, although considering he’s using an illegal ring to charm girls into loving him, I’m convinced he’s a scam.” Natsu makes what is possibly a sound of acknowledgement around the mountain of food he’s managed to cram into his mouth, and Lucy smiles.

“You don’t have to talk while you’re eating. I’m used to being by myself, so this is a fresh change of pace if I’m being honest. I’ve been looking to join a guild -- a wizard’s guild that is, because I’m a wizard too -- but Hargeon doesn’t have the newest issue of Sorcerer's Weekly yet, and I’m kinda unsure about just walking into a place. I’m not exactly a people person, though I think I make due pretty well.”

“You sure talk a lot,” Happy says.

(And Lucy smiles, always.)

“Yeah,” she agrees breezily as she uses her arms to prop her head up. “I’m going to join a guild and go on lots of fun jobs, though. I know it.”

“Yeah?” Natsu belches his response a bit, technically finished eating and Lucy smiles at him too.

“Sorry. I’ve been going on about a lot of stuff, but earlier… You looked like you were looking for someone?”

“I heard a salamander came to this town, but it must’ve been some- _whum elth_.” His speech slurs towards the end as he resumes eating, but Lucy doesn’t let her smile falter.

“He didn’t look like a salamander,” Happy chimes in helpfully.

“No,” she agrees. “He doesn’t.”

“I thought it’d be him, since a salamander’s a fire dragon. I really thought it’d be Igneel.” Natsu somehow manages to finish chewing through an entire pizza by the end of that statement, and Lucy silently resolves to never revisit this conversation in her memories.

(She will anyway, one day.)

“Igneel’s an actual dragon, then?” Lucy already knows this, of course, but she’s not about to let Natsu know that. She’s not going to feign surprise or shock either, though. After all, Lucy doesn’t remember everything about Fairy Tail’s adventures and as such she won’t always remember when such emotions ought to be present. It’s best to be seen as empty-headed and accepting of things before she slips up.

“Aye!”

“I don’t think Igneel would feel very comfortable in a city, then,” Lucy muses softly. Natsu and Happy look as though they’ve been struck by lightning at this observation, and she smiles at them as she places the correct amount of jewel down next to the check. “Thank you again, and I know you’ll find Igneel one day. I have to go now, so take care you two!”

She raises a hand in an absent-minded wave as she leaves, mind already knowing she’ll have to tell her boss and motel receptionist she’ll be leaving today and trying to decide which one to do first.

“Please come agai…”

Mildly curious, Lucy looks back to see what made the waitress fumble, and almost balks herself when she sees Natsu and Happy bowing against the floor in what she thinks is called dogeza.

 _Oh right,_ she thinks distantly. _This happens_.

“We appreciate your kindness!”

“...It’s alright. You helped me too,” Lucy assures, still floating through a haze that allows her to ignore everyone else’s reaction to this madness. She thinks this might be embarrassment.

“But…” Natsu and Happy discuss between themselves a little, _still seated on the floor_ , and Lucy drifts away into her happy place appropriately named oblivion.

“Want this, then?” Natsu proceeds to wave Salamander’s signature about, and Lucy politely shakes her head no.

“I’d prefer if you burn it,” she tells him honestly. It’s a waste since she could auction it off again, but doing that after meeting Natsu seems immoral somehow. “Bye Natsu! Bye Happy!”

And this time when she waves goodbye, she _leaves_.

(The bakery first, she decides.)

* * *

“Hey, Natsu?”

“Yeah buddy?”

“How’d she know our names?”

“Uh…,” Natsu trails, struggling to think back. Lucy’s steady chatter had been nice, but easily faded into background noise. He never thought he’d meet someone as good at chattering on about nothing as Mira, but then that weirdo showed up. “Must’ve told her,” he decides, shrugging.

* * *

Mr. Brownings is sad to see her go, but Lucy doesn’t bother staying for pleasantries today while the receptionist is much more efficient about checking her out and wishing Lucy well...although she had checked out _Lucy_ , too.

Lucy, perfectly dolled up thanks to Cancer, doesn’t begrudge this as she usually might. Tonight she’s _meant_ to be seen, after all. She smooths the silky crimson fabric down again, admiring the quality. It’s almost something Jude would have allowed her to wear, if it covered more.

Her hair is an art all it’s own, Cancer having gone overboard. It’s curled, and a small ponytail was arranged in the back while the rest of it hangs free; It almost covers the entirety of her exposed back, and Lucy had breathed a quiet sigh of relief at that. Earrings dangle from her ears, light enough that they won’t stretch them but not so small as to be cheesy with such an expensive dress, and the golden chain Aquarius’ key rests on disappears into her dress invitingly.

(She might not like how sexualized her body is, but that doesn’t mean Lucy hasn’t learned how to _weaponize_ it.)

Her hands are empty thanks to Cancer, who she’d asked to keep her things until she summoned him again, and her keyring is strapped to her thigh in a manner that had taken several minutes to ensure it didn’t create a lump in the thin, clingy material it was tucked under. The strap she'd used to secure it is visible through the slit, a matching blood red.

Her face, wearing a smile as always, was subject to Cancer’s masterful touch as well. Lucy had requested waterproof makeup considering the tsunami she knows is coming, and Cancer had assured her even Aquarius’ wrath won’t smudge it.

So Lucy is ready to willingly walk into a human trafficking ring, nearly get captured, dive into ocean waters (she’s lucky Hargeon gets a warmer current this time a year) after having Bora’s flames intentionally target her and Happy, and get washed ashore by Aquarius.

Oh yeah, and then there’s the Fioren army to worry about.

 _Great_.

* * *

The party is already in full swing once she arrives, and Lucy ensures that when she steps onto the yacht she is a Heartfilia ( _untouchable_ , her mind whispers).

It’s subtle, the change. Her rhythm is lighter, her gaze sweeps around the room in a distantly interested manner as she analyzes people’s worth just as they do her. Lucy _should_ hold herself as far from these mannerisms as possible, should allow her eyes to warm and smile brighten.

But Jaquelyn had taken to the Heartfilia name like a fish to water, and Lucy was never going to deny this part of herself, even if she should.

( _Should, should, should._ )

“Darling!” Bora stands out, considering he’s one of a significantly smaller number of males on board and surrounded by a small posse of probably charmed and drugged women. It had taken him around thirty minutes since the yacht set off to find her though, just another pretty face in the crowd.

Lucy _smiles_.

“Salamander!” She darts over, pretending to trip over her heels in an exaggerated rush, and he laughs as he grabs her hands (Dainty, small, pale and un-callused. If Bora payed attention, he could learn more about her through her hands than Lucy ever told him, but he doesn’t, of course. They never do.) to steady her.

“Careful, dear. You can’t be tipsy until you’ve at least tried the wine.”

Spiked wine? She wants to ask. Just to test him. Just to see his mask crumble.

But Jacquelyn and Lucy both have more patience than that and so she merely smiles, a mask to smother the thoughts beneath. “Do you- Do you have someplace private we could be?” She stumbles the sentence out, in a rush. Bora laughs, and she flushes. It is a game they’re playing, one Jacquelyn was taught from birth and Lucy has since mastered.

She will let Bora win every battle, but she will win the war.

“Of course, my dear.” He places his hand on her back (staining her skin and tangling her curls and Lucy smiles, smiles, _smiles_ ). She giggles and tilts herself towards him just slightly, wide-eyed and flushed, lips parted in a smile that is equal parts disbelief and exhilaration.

“Of course,” she mimics brightly, stupidly, just what he expects.

(Lucky Lucy Heartfilia, she remembers. Knows, in her blood and bones. She’s tiptoed the line of what others expect and her own desires for years, for lifetimes, and has studied the art of perception and image. This is just another play, a theater full of masks and marionette dolls.)

She’s guided to a room only vaguely familiar after so many years between seeing it as animation and now. Lucy isn’t worried. It’s this one, she feels, and certainty cloaks her so strongly she feels dizzy.

Bora ensures she’s seated first, like the gentleman he’s pretending to be, and Lucy shifts her expression into wonder, the look a child might wear upon first sighting a castle.

(Or Hansel and Gretel, catching sight of gingerbread walls and an icing laden roof without knowing the danger lurking just behind that candy doorknob.)

“This is all yours?” Lucy asks, as though she doesn’t know how rude it is, and Bora smiles because as expensive as this yacht, buffet, and the clothes upon him are, it’s just show. He doesn’t know the underlying rules behind the glamour, mimics the exaggerated actions without understanding the details surrounding them. Bora is just a child playing dress up to Lucy Heartfilia and she thinks that while his smile is crooked and roguish, it’s the expression of a man who thinks he’s more than he is.

And she wants to _break_ him.

She won’t, though. Because she’s not a Heartfilia, not now. Because Natsu is going to come crashing through the ceiling and she wants him to know her as Lucy of Fairy Tail, his best friend. Because it’s Bad.

There’s a lot of reasons not to, really, but it doesn’t dissipate the want. The urge.

And so when she backhands the drugged droplets back into his face with careful aim, she doesn’t feel any satisfaction. It’s petty, and she only does it to buy herself a few more seconds of stupefied silence. There’s no joy in that, just a palpable disinterest. She wants him dead, yes, but that’s only practical. As it is, she would’ve blown his entire operation already if he wasn’t the starting point to Natsu Dragneel.

“It’s incredibly rude,” she begins, softly, with a smile just as sweet as her tone. Because she smiles, smiles, smiles. It’s a constant, a shield for both her lives, and she doesn’t remember how not to anymore. “to drug a lady.” Lucy grabs her wine glass as she stands, motions carefully graceful and drilled into her by an etiquette teacher unafraid of a mother’s meddling.

She smiles at him, tilting her glass into a crimson whirlpool and crossing her other arm under her chest. She is all confidence, charm, and victory, and Bora's face is finally registering fury.

“Although I personally find it a much greater slight that you dared touch me, a while ago.” Lucy sighs, seemingly a touch remorseful. “Still, I suppose it’s time for you to assume your own victory, now?” She eyes him a little warily, tired and knowing this is probably the last moment of peace she’ll have this evening.

“Well, aren’t you a handful?” He snarls, teeth grit in an attempt at an unaffected smile. He fails miserably, but Lucy supposes most don’t have her practice at ensuring genuineness. The curtains are pushed aside as if on cue, revealing incredibly buff goons with no fashion sense.

Oh, and Lucy supposes the unconscious girls are meant to cause alarm as well, though at least they’re not being so horribly messy about this whole affair.

Lucy _hates_ messiness possibly more than she hates rudeness.

(Fairy Tail is messy, but Jacquelyn had fallen head over heels for that fantasy and loved it for _home_ and _magic_ and _family_. She loves Fairy Tail, messiness and all.)

“Please be good until we reach Bosco, my _dear_.”

“Always,” Lucy assures. Bora’s face tightens and Lucy has the distinct impression her ever present smile is not much appreciated, here. She must be ruining his villain reveal, poor _dear_.

“Grab her!”

Lucy is unamused by this order considering she’s been nothing but polite. He could just _ask_ her to be captured since he obviously doesn’t trust that she’ll be a “good” girl. No muss or fuss necessary.

Just to spite him for not politely requesting her cooperation, she makes use of years of dancing to slip through the horde of men with an ease that would win her dance teacher’s approval despite the circumstances.

“Pardon me,” Lucy murmurs with a smile as she ducks under yet another arm. Bora looks apoplectic, and she takes a second to give him a smile too.

(She might be a bit more upset over the touching than previously expected. Or maybe it’s the human trafficking. Or the drugs. Or the sleep charm... You know, Lucy has a lot of things to be upset about, at the moment.)

The ceiling suddenly caves to the force of a wrecking ball in the form of Natsu Dragneel, and Lucy beams. “Natsu!” She makes sure to add a cute little wave as she energetically bounces up and the man reaching for her cries out in pain as her heel digs into his sandal-wearing foot when gravity returns her. “Oops! My apologies. I’m usually a much better dancer, but…” Lucy pats his arm comfortingly, taking note that Natsu’s abrupt entrance had distracted most of her would-be kidnappers.

“Lushi! What are you doing here?” Happy asks, and Lucy gives the blue cat a wave as well.

“I got tricked, I think.”

“Well, we gotta get outta here!” His tail wraps around her before she can properly agree or mention the fact that she’s actually capable of either staying out of the way or fighting, and Lucy reluctantly decides it’s probably best to stay close to the narrative anyway.

Hopefully the salt water won’t hurt the quality of her dress, because she paid a lot of jewels for it even considering haggling is an accepted part of Fiore culture.

Happy dives out of the way of fire, Bora’s flames out to get them. Lucy’s stomach flips, the entire weight of her body supported only by Happy’s thin tail and _wow_ , she really hadn’t given enough thought to how uncomfortable this would be.

It feels like a suckerpunch to the gut except far longer lasting, and Lucy willingly loses herself to a haze of pain until she remembers she’s yet to thank Happy.

“Thank you, Happy. You’re very good at flying.”

“Aye! I think I’m out of time, though.”

And just like that, Happy’s transformation is up and he and Lucy are tumbling down into the ocean below. Lucy barely has the time to correct her fall into a proper dive, but manages while silently allowing her mind a moment to acknowledge Jude and the ridiculous amount of lessons he’d forced upon her.

Bursting up to the surface, Lucy pulls Happy up with her since he’d slammed into a rock. The cat is clutched to her chest, obviously out of it but breathing, and Lucy pulls Aquarius’ key out from her chest. “Open! Gate of the Water Bearer, Aquarius!”

“Fish!” Happy salivates as soon as he sees the spirit, but Lucy doesn’t have time to mention his rudeness at the moment.

“Can you please wash that yacht and us to shore, Aquarius?”

“Tch. Of course I _can_ , brat.” Aquarius’ voice is the only real warning to the tsunami she proceeds to unleash, and Lucy makes sure to fill her lungs entirely before she’s pulled under by the current.

She hopes Happy did the same, but doesn’t have much hope.

Washing up on the beach is an unfortunately familiar sensation, considering Jacquelyn had three near drownings in her life (although water certainly hadn’t been what killed her, in the end. Water would have been a kindness), so after Lucy coughs the little water she swallowed out she recovers quickly. “Thanks, Aquarius!”

“...Don’t call me for a while. I’m going on vacation _with my boyfriend_. You still don’t have one of those, do you?” The sneer in Aquarius’ voice is undeniable, but Lucy’s practiced in ignoring it.

“Alright, I won’t. I hope you and Scorpio have a lot of fun! And no, I’m still single. Thanks again for the help!” Lucy smiles and Aquarius glowers before the gate allowing her to stay in this world is closed by mutual agreement.

“The fish lady’s nice, isn’t she? She left me fish!”

“Aquarius is very nice,” Lucy reassures Happy now that he’s up as well. “Should we find Natsu now?”

“Aye!”

She scoops Happy up in her arms and ignores the dead fish he’s eating and sets off for the large shipwreck Aquarius crashed into the pier. Lucy doesn’t bother looking for any of the girls, despite their unconscious states. Aquarius is grumpy and absolutely awful a lot of the time, but she would never have allowed those girls to drown. They’re safe, and Lucy would honestly just like to find Natsu at the moment.

“Natsu.” It had taken a few minutes to get close enough to the ship to see him, moonlight not optimal lighting. Lucy’s lips curl just a little more as she speaks the word, more reassurance for herself than any attempt to get the dragon slayer’s attention.

The ensuing fight is quick, brutal, and utterly one-sided. Happy talks some too, explaining who Bora is when some idiot goon says his name and Happy finally makes the connection, but Lucy doesn’t pay much attention to the information. She does pet his head to encourage freely given info, though.

Natsu is...kinda scary. Lucy isn’t exactly _scared_ of him, but events in Jacquelyn’s life mean she’s always just a little more uneasy around guys, a little more unsteady. Still, he won’t hurt her, she knows this as the simple fact of life it is, and thus she proceeds to ignore the instinctive flare of fear with extreme prejudice.

Thankfully she’s had a lot of practice ignoring and manipulating unwanted emotions.

“Woah.” Getting her emotions under control must have taken longer than she thought, because focusing back on the world in front of her reveals burning wreckage as far as she can see. “That’s a lot,” Lucy notes faintly, Happy’s cheery agreement barely registering.

“Found ya!” Natsu’s voice rings out, loud and clear amongst the wreckage as he snags her wrist and pulls her into a run after him. Lucy really needs to work on paying attention to the world outside her thoughts when she’s not in danger, because this just isn’t good for her heart otherwise.

Happy summons his wings again to fly, slipping out of her one-handed grasp with ease and dropping the fish bone into the sand. Lucy misses him immediately, the comfort of holding him gone and leaving her bare.

Military boots pound in rhythm to investigate the damage, and Natsu’s hand is warm around her wrist, and Lucy should probably say something. “Where are we going?”

“To Fairy Tail! You wanna join a guild, right? We're the best!”

“Right!” Lucy laughs, a breathless thing that escapes from her smile, brighter than any she’s given yet today. It’s probably the adrenaline, she decides. “To Fairy Tail!”

And thus the similar start to a very different young lady’s adventure comes to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try and update every Monday from now on! It's the first time I've written on a schedule though, so wish me luck!


	3. First impressions matter

Years of dance did not prepare her for running in heels, Lucy decides tiredly. She’s taken off the offending shoes (although they’re cute enough that she forgives them) by now in favor of observing her feet for blisters. She’s surprised to find none, but then mages had always seemed capable of taking more physical damage than your average person. Magic is supposedly tied to a wizard’s life, so Lucy idly wonders if that has anything to do with it.

“Thanks again for the fire, Natsu.” Lucy stretches out, deliberately not paying attention to Natsu as she does. She’s noticed men stare when she stretches, and Lucy is not about to make herself uncomfortable if Natsu’s eyes wander. She can deal with that _later_ , when she has Fairy Tail and actual people to talk to distract herself from any ickiness, because even _Lucy_ can acknowledge that she’s not the most well adjusted individual, particularly about her body.

“No prob, Luigi.” Natsu is once again speaking around a mouthful of food, having hunted a deer (Are they still called deer in this world? Lucy never paid enough attention to know) as soon as they settled down outside of Hargeon limits. And no, Lucy is _not_ going to ask why Natsu knows the exact distance he needs to run to get away from the Fioren army, she’s _not_.

Lucy nods and looks back down at her own food, Natsu having insisted despite her refusal. She’d probably be more annoyed that he hadn’t listened if she didn’t know she needed to eat. Of course, her stomach is still upset about carrying her entire weight during Happy’s acrobatics, and Lucy’s never had the strongest stomach to begin with so that’s easier said than done.

She remembers hearing in her past life that the brain and stomach are connected, and Lucy believes it now. Her taste buds are different, but her stomach is still the same sensitive thing that never properly raises the alarm when she needs to eat. For Jacquelyn it had been fine, being underweight a natural result of her body type, but for Lucy…

Well, how “heavy” Lucy was had been an ongoing joke throughout _Fairy Tail_ , and while Jacquelyn’s always thought Lucy would be a healthy weight, she can see how she’d be heavy. Muscles, her oversized breasts (thanks _Mashima_ ), and even her curves… Lucy Heartfilia has meat on her, and Jacquelyn’s diet is simply not capable of sustaining it.

But the idea of eating more is… Well, Jacquelyn hates it. She doesn’t _like_ food. It’s nice, sometimes. When she’s in a pleasant mood, and eating doesn’t feel like a chore, but mostly it just feels awful. She gets the same feeling eating as when Mom had waltzed right past her plans and decisions to point Jacquelyn the right way, and Lucy’s just...tired of that. She’s _tired_.

“Lucy,” she finally remembers to correct. “My name is Lucy.” Natsu eyes her weirdly at the lapse, and she idly wonders how long her thoughts ran on for. She really _must_ be tired. “Are you sure you don’t want this?” She’s hopeful, and allows her face to show it.

Natsu eyes the plate in front of her like he’s trying to wrestle between knowing she needs to eat and his own bottomless appetite, and Lucy ups the stakes. Her honey brown eyes look at him in a move mastered by children and lost by most to age, and Lucy leans forward a little more as she holds the plate a _smidge_ closer so he can better smell it. “Please?” Her voice trembles and she bites her lower lip, Cancer’s makeup still perfectly done and unsmudged, as promised.

(He’s really good with Asuka in the future, so puppy eyes should work. Maybe. Hopefully… Okay, Lucy is just going to feel really guilty about not eating this otherwise, so _take the damn plate, Natsu_ -)

He takes the plate, and Lucy beams at him.

“You’re weird.” Natsu says it like an accusation, but Lucy can’t hold it against him.

“Probably.” Lucy’s admission is met by silence for a few more seconds, even Natsu’s volume low since Happy is already asleep. “Oh. Right. I need to go get changed, um…” Lucy grabs her keys, eyeing Natsu a bit nervously. It’s stupid, and irrational, and -- ”Don’t leave me?”

The fear is probably a combination of _literally_ betting her life on this, her own clinginess to things she decides to like (Natsu's not a thing, of course, but... Well, the point stands. Lucy's a selfish person, always has been and always will be, and she'll never turn away once she decides on something. And she's been decided on Fairy Tail for literal lifetimes.), and trust issues a mile long. Still, Lucy hates the uncertainty in her voice, she really does.

She won't get rid of it though, doesn't want to put on yet another act around someone she wants to trust, _can_ trust, and thus she's left feeling miserable with the show of weakness but unwilling to change it.

“‘Course not, weirdo,” Natsu says around his mouthful. He’s already finished off the plate.

“Right,” she repeats, and heads into the darkness and away from the cozy campfire. Lucy hates herself some moments, she really, _really_ does.

She summons Cancer who helps her take the makeup off and somehow manages to wash her hair in the middle of nowhere. He’s sent off with salt water laden clothes and a kiss on the cheek, because Cancer has never looked at her in an uncomfortable manner and he is quite possibly her favorite spirit for that alone.

(Also, Cancer is a hair god and fashion guru. He's impossible _not_ to love, and Lucy kinda wishes everyone could make her feel so comfortable.)

And so Lucy arrives back at the campfire in clean, comfy pajamas and a plush bunny with a slightly better mood and more than ready for sleep. “Goodnight, Natsu,” she says as she stumbles her way over to him, too sleepy to question routine as she tostles his pretty pink hair. She's always liked petting people just as much as she enjoys people playing with her own hair. “Your hair’s soft. Oh, and sweet dreams.”

Natsu’s expression of childlike wonder in that second never fully registers in Lucy’s sleep-addled mind, and that’s just as well since she would’ve lain awake analyzing it and why it showed up.

(Maybe because he can't remember such a tender goodnight? The guild is like a family, but it's rough around the edges, and while Igneel had seemed loud, energetic, and Good Dad material, there had to be limits to a dragon's physical affection.)

The next morning it’s the smell that wakes her first, and then the stiffness. Sleeping on the ground is _not_ what a runaway Heartfilia heiress is used to, and she’d forgotten to get her futon from Cancer last night, tunnel-vision focused fully on fresh clothes and sleep.

Lucy whines as sleep tries to drag her back under, and takes a moment to ponder why, however wonderful smelling, food had woken her up. She proceeds to remember that she’d only munched on pastries for breakfast yesterday, and lunch had been a simple salad. She’d had nothing for dinner.

Damnit.

She forces herself up, aware now that the heaviness clogging her brain is at least partially caused by hunger, and eats what Natsu gives her today without further comment other than the obligatory thanks and compliments.

Her stomach protests food so soon after being awoken, but Lucy ignores it because it doesn’t seem to understand that this is necessary for its survival. She’ll probably be stuck with an upset stomach for a few hours, but that’s fine.

Happy and Natsu chatter on, but Lucy is focused entirely on forcing food in herself. Today is going to be a long day.

And then Lucy realizes they’re probably going to arrive at Fairy Tail today, and corrects herself. Today is going to be _the_ day.

(She forgets Macao needs saving in this instant, and will later curse herself for allowing this moment of contentment.)

* * *

Magnolia is a blessing to come across, and only takes them a little under two hours to get to. She has a feeling Natsu could’ve run the entire way, but is ultimately happy he’d listened to her struggles. Or maybe he just knew how difficult it is to run in heels, which isn’t improbable considering the amount of terrifying females in Fairy Tail.

Of course, she isn’t wearing heels anymore after the planned disaster that was last night, but the point stands.

Lucy stares up, up, up, trying to burn everything about this image, about _Fairy Tail_ , into her mind. “Wow,” is the only thing she can think to whisper, awe filling her.

It isn’t even the building; it’s the fact that she’s _here_ , finally, after spending so much of her life knowing this is _everything_ …

Natsu’s standing next to her smugly as he watches he face, eager to see her take in his guild, his _home_ , and Lucy takes a second to find all of this so unbelievable that she’ll wake up tomorrow, Jacquelyn, hurting, and so, so alone.

She won’t though, and Natsu finally decides her gawking has lasted long enough because he kicks the doors in. Lucy jumps at the sudden _bang_ and acknowledges that she’s going to have to get used to loud noises, from now on.

“We’re back!”

A chorus of greetings welcome them (just Natsu, really, but this is Jacquelyn’s dream), and it’s _so much_ , Lucy just wants to stand here and observe everything all day.

“You had to go and make trouble again, huh? Hargeon’s port is half destro-AHH!”

Natsu’s kick sends the darker haired man flying even without magic, and Lucy takes a very tentative step inside the guild of her dreams and memories. “That info about a salamander was a lie, yeah?!”

“How should I know?!” The other man recovered quickly, temper rising. “I just told you some rumours I’d been hearing!”

There’s some more back and forth as Lucy looks around, gaze frantically taking everything in. Wood is everywhere, there are some drawings on the wall that are only childish scribbles, and there! There’s the mission board, and Mira’s behind the bar, and-

Lucy squeaks as Gray appears in front of her, nearly naked, and she claps her hands together in front of her chest to keep them from instinctively covering her face, since she'll need to get used to the sight… She really needs to pay more attention, because her tendency to get trapped in her own head is quickly becoming a liability here.

“Let’s have a go!” Gray shouts, and Lucy only realizes how far the fight has evolved once she looks around and everything is pure chaos. Jacqueline squeals at the mess, but she’s dead and Lucy is suddenly very overwhelmed with the urge to find some kind of cubby to tuck herself away in. Instead, she distracts herself by finding and naming those she recognizes.

Cana, Elfman, Gray and Natsu again, Loke her future lion… Lucy immediately quells the urge to contract him. She can wait until the hot springs episode, she _can_.

(Jacquelyn, however, can’t.)

“I haven’t seen you around before! Do you need anything, newbie?” Lucy turns to the source of the question to see a familiar white-haired beauty of supermodel definition.

“Mirajane! Oh, um. Sorry. I’m Lucy, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Just spouting off someone’s name at the first meeting seems vaguely stalkerish to Lucy, and she hopes her first impression isn’t ruined. Then again, she’s not Jacquelyn or a Heartfilia at the moment so imperfection is probably tolerated.

* * *

Mira eyes the blonde in front of her with a smile. Lucy is cute, a bit on the petite side, well-dressed, and positively adorable in the fact that she doesn’t seem to understand people know Mirajane’s name all the time. She rarely knows theirs.

Still, as amusing as it is, Mira can’t shake the feeling something's different with this one. Lucy seems sweet enough, and her eyes, a warm brown, look at Mira like she’s greeting an old friend. Occasionally Mira has run into creeps and perverts thanks to her modeling side job, but Mira somehow can’t align Lucy with them despite her wariness.

“Aw! It’s nice to meet you too, Lucy!” Mira uses a handshake as a guise to carefully steer the blonde clear of a flying chair, but also as a test. Lucy seems to allow the contact without second thought, no lingering glances or flustered emotions, and Mira decides she’s probably safe.

...For Mira, at least. Furniture and people are currently flying around the guild like a gaggle of deranged geese, and Lucy seems just the kind of absent minded that might lead to a nasty bruise.

“Our guild’s a bit of a mess right now, but if you need to post a mission I’m sure I could help!”

“Thank you, but no.” Apparently Lucy’s found her groove in the conversation again, because she perks up as she speaks. “Natsu brought me. At least, I think he did. I might have been kidnapped in the beginning, now that I think about it…”

Mira’s smile widens, shark-like at the hint of gossip. “Oh, did he? He’s never brought someone to the guildhall before! Although I hope you’re not too upset about the ‘kidnapping’?”

“Oh, no.” Lucy seems oblivious as Mira continually maneuvers her away from projectiles, one being her own brother, and Mira feels a pang of worry for an entirely reason than before. Such an absent minded nature really _is_ dangerous in Fairy Tail. “I was worried about it in the beginning since I thought I’d become an accomplice, but he seems much nicer than my last near-kidnapper. Or, well, since I’m willing I suppose it wouldn’t exactly be a kidnapping anymore?”

“Probably not,” Mira affirms. “I am worried about that other kidnapping, though. It’s not a habit of yours, is it?”

Lucy opens her mouth to deny the light-hearted comment (although Mira _is_ worried) when she clamps it shut and gets a dangerously thoughtful look on her face. “It...might be, actually.” Lucy looks so adorably befuddled when she comes to that conclusion that Mira thinks she shaves years off her face. Her expression looks so similar to a small, lost child’s confusion and bewilderment that Mira can’t help but wonder about her age despite her well-formed body. “I’m sorry in advance for the trouble.”

Mira laughs. Worry and a darling sense of attachment to this strange girl bubbles up, and she shakes her head as she reaches forward to clasp Lucy’s hands in her own again. “No trouble! You seem too sweet to kick up too much of our Fairy Tail fuss.”

And before Lucy can respond to that, Master finally decides to put an end to the guild’s roughhousing. Mira sees Lucy flinch at his booming voice, hands taken out of Mira’s grasp as she minutely hunches into herself, a smaller target.

And that’s- That’s not good. Mira knows abuse, has seen it over and over again, and this overly soft-spoken girl with milky pale skin and un-callused hands does not look like life has given her any trouble whatsoever. Emotional abuse then, not physical, but Mira remembers the name calling ( _demon, monster, creature,_ **_thing, murderer, kill it_** ) and how it could hurt worse than the stones people threw.

Kidnappings, Lucy said. Was it just that, or..?

“Oh, Master! You’re here!” Mira greets Fairy Tail’s guildmaster with a practiced smile, peripheral vision still locked on the small, worrying blonde next to her.

“Hah! You’re all too scared-!” Master’s foot is the end of Natsu’s cackle, and silence reigns as he looks around until his eyes land on Lucy.

“Oho? A new recruit, have we?”

Lucy nods, any trace of fear gone (ingrained response, so years of abuse that just feel natural to her now, Mira catalogs) although she still looks a touch unsteady. Mira thinks that might have more to do with communicating with a wizard saint and current giant than abuse, though. “Yes, sir. It’s a pleasure meeting you.”

Master Makarov deflates, his appearance shrinking to the miniature old man age has reduced him to. “Glad to have you on board, then!” Lucy’s smile is genuinely warm in response, light entering her eyes and making them _shine_. Mira’s smile shifts into something a little less practiced once she sees it.

She’s worried for nothing, probably. Wizards tend toward harder lives, but Lucy seems far too good-natured for such a thing. Not to mention, Lucy’s appearance doesn’t lend itself to harm; Lucy’s pretty, obviously well-raised, and sweet. Mira doesn’t have anything to worry about, especially with a smile like that.

Mira’s missed some of Master’s antics, sorting through her own mind, and tunes back into his lecture and subsequent praise. Lucy positively glows all throughout the speech, enraptured, and yes, Mira thinks she’ll be a good fit despite her seemingly sweet temper and obliviousness.

Every true member of Fairy Tail has their quirks, after all, and Mirajane herself is no exception.

As Master’s impromptu speech comes to a close, Mira shuffles back over to the bar to grab the guildmark stamp. She’s eager to find out what color Lucy’s tattoo is, especially since Mira’s noticed that the color tends to be whatever a mage feels most connected to at that moment. She’s based a few of her favorite couples off of their guildmark colors over the years, and considering Natsu brought her in…

Well, Natsu needs a friend after so many years of holding even the guild at arm’s length, and is it really Mira’s fault if she quietly wishes for something more for the pink-haired dragon slayer?

* * *

“It is pink…” Lucy breathes, admiring her hand. Placing her guildmark there wouldn’t have been her first choice, but despite the idiocy of it Jacquelyn wants to admire the physical proof that she belongs somewhere. She wants it to be seen, despite logic dictating it would be better to keep her guild association someplace less obvious.

Plus, it’s where it _should_ be.

“With this, you’re an official member of Fairy Tail, Lucy!”

“Mm!” Lucy nods, smile genuine and without thought. “Thank you, Mira!” Turning, she spins on her heel to find her similarly pink-haired future teammate. Once spotting him by the bulletin board (right where he should be), Lucy beams and darts over. “Natsu! Natsu, look! I got my guildmark!”

“Uh-huh. That’s nice, Luigi.”

Lucy hums, Natsu’s bored tone not registering as she spins again. “I’m happy,” she says simply, and before she can think better of it leans forward to hug him. Neither Jacquelyn or Lucy have much experience with genuine connection, but honesty seems like the best policy for now. At least, with the things she _can_ be honest about, like her emotions in this moment. “Thanks for bringing me, Natsu!”

She feels icky after hugging him, but allows contentment to swallow the feeling. Lucy’s brain chemistry will figure out Natsu’s not going to hurt her eventually. Until then Lucy will just have to acknowledge the feeling and proceed to ignore it with the same extreme prejudice she devotes to all her troublesome emotions.

“It’s not that far away, and you have to find Dad! He's been missing for a week already!”

Lucy looks up from admiring her new guildmark at Romeo’s yell, mind blanking before realization hits.

 _Macao_.

She’d forgotten… Of course she had. _Idiot_. Had she bought any winter gear? No, but she needs to. There’s no time today, so at least her cardigan and dress provide more coverage than Lucy’s _supposed-to-be_ outfit. Ah, and Jacquelyn’s going to have to run after Natsu even though it’s totally against her personality, isn’t she?

...Lucy’s going, so it’s stupidly useless to wish differently. Today is her first impression, and she doesn’t want to ruin it by messing up the plot. Although now that she thinks about it, Mira had talked to her for a longer time than in the original source, hadn’t she?...It’s probably fine, and if it’s not Lucy has plenty of time to get the plot back on track before the world is threatened with imminent destruction.

Probably. Maybe. Possibly, at least.

(Damnit, why is it that such a little frustration makes her vision blur?)

"You're dad's a Fairy Tail mage, Romeo, and we can take care of ourselves!"

_Slam._

Lucy jolts at the loud noise of the bulletin board being punched through, barely restraining herself from flinching- _(Too close. Natsu’s too close)_ \- as Natsu storms off amongst voices of dissent in the guildhall, dangerously quiet.

“Leave him be!” Makarov commands, and the demands for Natsu to stay, to not hurt Macao's pride, quiet. “The only life we control is our own, so the boy can make his own decisions!”

Lucy’s posture stays perfectly relaxed, aware of this because her body wants to tense. She nibbles her lip, and reaffirms her decision of _whatevering_ any of her actual personality that goes against her desire to follow the plot and stick as close to the original Lucy Heartfilia without betraying herself as possible. Not controlling the impression she makes by sticking around for another half hour or so goes against every instinct she has, but this is Fairy Tail and Lucy trusts them.

(She wants to trust, at least.)

Lucy follows Natsu out of the guild, anxiety eroding her from the inside-out. No one in Fairy Tail seems to notice Lucy's departure, too wrapped up in their own thoughts and friends to pay any attention to a practical stranger, but Mira’s sharp eyes follow her figure as she leaves.

This is going to be an adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I barely managed to get this out on time, and now it's actually a few minutes late because I'm an idiot who was trying to figure out why my notes had doubled up. Any long-time Archive users, please give tips to my idiot self, thanks.  
> On a different note, three people bookmarked this and I'm just wondering what potential they see in this dumpster fire.


	4. silver songs

Natsu glared at the blonde seated across from him, confused. He’d thought that weird moment back at the campfire last night had been a fluke, but Looney’s scent is back to normal (Stardust and strawberries, with just a pinch of vanilla and an ever present undertone of - fear? No, that’s too strong. She’s anxious.) and she’s still being, well, _looney_ , hence his new nickname for her.

“Why...ugh….are you here?” He nearly keens over with the strength it takes to talk in a moving vehicle, but manages.

“My name is Lucy,” Looney says instead of answering him, which really proves his point about her weirdo-ness. “You messed it up again, back at the guild.”

“Yeah, _Looney_ ,” he mutters. He’s not good at talking on a good day, and moving vehicles are anything but.

Her nose wrinkles. “I think I like that one better, at least.” Lucy (because yes, he _does_ know her real name, okay?) frowns, studying him. She goes perfectly still as she watches him, but her eyes don’t look like they see him anymore. “Do you think massaging your head would help? I’ve never had motion sickness, so I wouldn’t know.”

The wagon jolts, and Natsu barely manages to swallow back vomit. “If ya think it’ll help, do it already.”

Lucy hums agreeably, standing up. Her eyes are still a little glazed, but Natsu’s pretty positive right now that she’s just _weird_. He’s never met anyone else who smells so consistently of fear, after all. Although thinking back, Natsu doesn’t think she smelled like that when they first met, or on that big boat. Granted, Natsu’s senses don’t work the best on moving vehicles, but still. He only remembers her smelling scared after she was safe and away from that failed fire mage.

So, Looney’s a weirdo who only smells scared when she’s safe, which makes absolutely no sense to Natsu.

Lucy picks up his head, gently settling him back down in her lap as her hands make their way through his hair and - _wow_. He makes a small keening noise in his throat as he tries to focus on her hands instead of the miserable movement around him.

“Does that help, Natsu?” Happy asks.

“Uh-huh.”

Lucy lets out another hum at his answer, but doesn’t respond verbally. Instead, she keeps looking like she’s someplace far, far away.

* * *

Lucy hates the cold. It’s a fact. A simple truth to life. Macao is in the mountains, on none other than Mount Hakobe. That’s also a fact. A _cold_ hard fact.

There are other facts to this equation as well, such as: Lucy is an idiot, Natsu is not yet his overly open, loud, and snuggly self, and Lucy is miserably wondering if maybe saving the world isn’t worth it.

They equal: Lucy is shivering enough that her teeth chatter.

Of course, she has Natsu to thank for this fact. She means that genuinely, too. If Natsu hadn’t increased his body temperature using his magic she’d probably be hypothermic by now. Still, the cold is settling into her bones and Lucy eyes the blanket Natsu’s carrying for Macao warily. He doesn’t give it to Lucy in the show, but maybe..?

“Ca-Can I ca-carry the blanket until we get to-to Ma-Macao? Please?” Tears gather at the corner of her eyes and proceed to freeze, and Lucy quietly promises herself that as soon as she buys her apartment on Strawberry Street she’s going to go over the supplies she needs for _every_. _Single. Adventure._ She can remember.

Her memory’s more than decent, so it should be enough to keep from feeling this _stupid_ ever again.

“Why’d ya come along anyway if you’re just gonna complain?”

“I don’t like it when kids are upset.” The words...aren’t exactly true, but they’re close enough. Lucy always remembers both her childhoods when confronted with an upset child, though that’s never been enough to encourage _doing_ until Fairy Tail got thrown in the mix. Before, she just would’ve eyed them sadly and then compartmentalized.

“Lushi’s a pushover!” Happy laughs, nestled comfortably on Natsu’s pack. Lucy’s jealous.

“I am not,” she mutters, though Lucy isn’t sure how true that is. She has a tendency to just do as she’s told, and her temper is practically non-existent even if she does get annoyed easily. Granted, those that manage to awaken said temper have had their lives ruined, minus Bora, and Lucy thinks that must count for _something_ , surely.

She stumbles when a blanket is tossed at her, and Lucy actually stops walking out of shock. “Tha-Thank you..?” It doesn’t _sound_ genuine, but Lucy’s a little too busy gawking at the mercifully thick fabric to put on a mask, even one she has practiced to perfection.

“Hurry up, Looney! We gotta find Macao!”

Lucy nods quickly, too many words clogging her throat for any to escape. She burritos herself inside the blanket, which is still cold but will hopefully warm up soon. She loves Natsu right now, for this, she really does.

“Macao!” Natsu shouts. Happy’s flying around above him now that his perch is snuggly wrapped around Lucy. “Macao!”

An avalanche is the only thing to answer his call, except… Lucy’s magic senses the danger before she fully registers it with the cold slowing down her mind, and instinctively reaches out. Lucy blinks at the pane of glass now separating her from snow.

“Thank you, Horologium,” she says politely. Because Lucy is only speaking to him, the spirit doesn’t bother repeating her words so that Natsu can hear them.

Of course, then the loud cry of “Wo- _MAN_!” meets her ears, and Horologium is snatched by what amounts to a large, fuzzy monkey. It’s called a vulcan, and Lucy remembers that it’s actually Macao, who’s been possessed by the creature.

She isn’t worried, now that she’s in danger. Danger doesn’t have room for uncertainty or fear like Fairy Tail does. Lucy will probably second guess herself around the genuinely good guild until she’s dead all over again, but danger makes her anxiety manageable.

So the vulcan captures her, and Lucy snuggles into her blanket to wait for when Horologium’s contract time runs out. He doesn’t restrict the days she can summon him, but he does put a time limit on summonings.

Lucy slips her hand into the hidden pocket in her cardigan, counting down Horologium’s remaining time as she seeks the golden key of who she’s supposed to summon.

Her hand tightens around silver instead of a missing key, and Lucy breathes out as Horologium vanishes back to the celestial world.

“Open, gate of the Lyre. Lyra!”

* * *

Lucy has a line, in her brain.

This line is a fact of her life, and something Lucy can’t allow to be crossed. If someone reaches over the line with their hand to test it’s limits, chop it off. If a toe is edged across the line, destroy it.

Lucy doesn’t kill the person trying to get across, though. She simply lets them know that such an action is Not Allowed. If they keep trying, she keeps hurting.

But it’s never unnecessary. Lucy never crosses her side of the line to get revenge. That’s her choice, really. Her choice to ask, very politely, that they not get themselves hurt. Sometimes they listen...and sometimes they don’t. Lucy always makes sure people have a choice, either way.

Taurus is no exception.

* * *

It’s been a week, since Lucy stumbled across Taurus’ key. Or maybe, like Aquarius, he managed to find her. She doesn’t know, and while it’s interesting to wonder about she doesn’t care much, either.

It’s been a week, and Taurus now has enough information about her for this choice to _mean_ something.

Lucy eyes the monster (she doesn’t know what it is, only that there seem to be quite a few in this area) disinterestedly. Taurus’ strength had been best to deal with it, Cancer better suited to dark alleys with drunks and water needed for Aquarius.

Lyra’s music could’ve made the monster sleepy, but Lucy needs to deal with Taurus now rather than waiting to deal with him until the plot begins.

“That was quick,” she says idly. The lack of a thank you is lost on Taurus, manners not important to him.

“Anything to protect Miss Lu _uu_ cy’s body! Do I get a smo _ooo_ tch?” It’s not the worst thing Taurus has said to her, but it is possibly the last.

“Taurus.” Lucy’s tone is devoid of emotion, at most filled with a detached curiosity as she fiddles with his key. “What do you think of me?”

“Miss Lu _uu_ cy has got the biggest b _ooo_ bs and hottest body!”

“Mm. I see. That’s probably meant to be a compliment, coming from you. But you know, Taurus, I have a little problem.”

“Miss Lu _uu_ cy?” His tone is lined with worry and, after a week, Lucy knows that despite his objectifying and sexualized comments and innuendos Taurus _does_ genuinely care about her. Still, he needs to learn to keep his mouth shut before he ruins a conversation with, “D _oo_ you need me to _o_ kiss it better?”

He’s salivating a bit at whatever mental imagery that’s conjured in his head, and Lucy finally looks at him from where she’d been fiddling with his key. It’s off of the keyring, but Taurus has never been one for subtle.

“You have two options.” Lucy finally breaks the silence that’s grown. “One; Learn how to respect me and maintain a professional atmosphere when I summon you. You can think whatever you want because it’s your own mind, but I do not want to hear another inappropriate word. Two; I either return your keyring to where I found it, sell you to an auction house, or find another summoner for you. I won’t deal with you telling me all your fantasies, and I don’t have to.”

Lucy knows that it’s only an illusion of choice she’s giving him. Celestial beings are, despite being independent entities capable of thought and action, treated as property by most celestial magic users.

Still, even the illusion of choice is something Lucy’s found to inspire gratefulness. Besides, everyone reacts better to change when it’s their own choice. Otherwise, where would the motivation to succeed be?

She has backup plans if Taurus does surprise her, though. He’s social enough that returning him to where she found him with no guarantee of a master is out, and any spirit would be wary of being left to an auction house where only the materialistic are likely to gather, but he might choose the third option.

In which case, Princess Hisui will be getting a golden key from the current Lady Heartfilia for her upcoming eleventh birthday celebration. She’s young enough now that Lucy knows Taurus won’t make any unfortunate comments, and when she grows up Taurus will be too firmly in the Big Brother/Fun Uncle categories to sexualize her in that manner.

Anyway, all twelve keys need to be at the grand magic games, and the crown princess owing Lucy a favor will only be a good thing, in the long run. Losing a key will ache, but Lucy already hates this body enough without Taurus’ leers, and using it to network will help lessen what Lucy will feel to be an unnecessary loss.

Taurus makes his choice, and Lucy holds him to it.

* * *

Lyra pops into the air with a flourish, adorably immature mannerisms already in place. Lucy knows enough to recognize an act, causing a surge of familiarity with the smaller spirit. "Lucy!"

Lucy allows the hug, sliding into the physical affection with an ease too natural to be true. "Lyra! It's so nice to see you!"

"Hehehe! You too, Lucy! What do you want me to sing today?"

"A lullaby for him, preferably." Lucy tilts her head towards the vulcan to reinforce her words, latching onto Lyra's hands to help herself up from her seated position. Natsu’s blanket nearly slithers off her, but Lucy catches it just in time.

“Anything for you, Lucy! I'll pinch you if you fall asleep, so no worries!”

Lyra's only plucked her first note before another voice bursts on scene. “MONKEY!!! Where’s Macao!” Natsu is running full speed, but instead of targeting the vulcan he slips on a particularly slick piece of ice and spins straight into the cave wall. Lucy winces on his behalf.

“Lyra is mine,” she tells him, a bit put out at his ‘rescue’. The only thing she really remembers about this fight is that Taurus wound up summoned and Natsu gets thrown out at some point for Happy to fly back only for him to knock out said spirit, so she can be forgiven for forgetting this unfortunate moment.

Oh well, Natsu will have plenty of opportunities to make up for this lacking entrance if the script stays intact.

“Hey monkey, where’s Macao?” Natsu repeats, although any intimidation factor is lost as he’s still upside down. At least he quickly rights himself.

Lucy skips over to him, tossing, “Lyra, please wait for the answer,” over her shoulder. Lyra pitches a small fit over her interrupted concert, but Lucy doesn’t bother answering her. It’s an odd request, to be fair, even with all the information. Still, it’d be odder if she demanded Lyra guided their only lead into dreamland and Lucy would rather Natsu _not_ knock out her summon.

What little she remembers of the fight doesn’t fail her as Natsu is tricked and then kicked right out of the vulcan’s home. Lucy watches him fall until she can’t and then keeps looking, completely unconcerned by any threat the vulcan poses with Lyra nearby. “You can sing now,” she says absently. Lyra obeys beautifully.

...At least, until Lucy spots Natsu and Happy flying through the snow storm. She makes use of the ice to slide out of the little entrance she’d been watching from quickly, and Natsu crashing in sends ice shards everywhere. The icy pinpricks are enough to awaken the vulcan from the light doze Lyra had managed to lure him into. Lucy’s lips twist into a pout.

“He was almost unconscious!” The mutter is the equivalent to a shout with her temperament, but Lucy doesn’t bother to restrain the annoyance she feels, no matter how childish. Natsu is safe, this mission isn’t actually all that dangerous, and that means she can get upset if she wants to.

“Who? The monkey?”

Lucy curls deeper into the blanket, glaring at Natsu from where her eyes peek out. She doesn’t take kindly to having her control taken away, though ironically she thinks this might be the best icebreaker for something approaching genuine friendship.

Doesn’t mean she’s okay with it though.

“Did Happy help you up?” She’s still bitter on Lyra’s behalf gate (the spirit looks about ready to whack Natsu over the head with her lyre), but Lucy tries to stick to the script. She’s mostly making up the words, but she doesn’t feel too far off.

“Yeah!” He grins cockily before turning to look at his still flying buddy. “Thanks Happy!”

“Aye!”

The following fight is quicker and even more one-sided than the last one she witnessed now that Natsu’s forgotten the vulcan is a lead, but the annoyance she still feels boils away any fear.

"I'm sorry you weren't needed after all," Lucy sulks. She'd hoped to avoid an actual fight... Damnit, she was going to have to get used to this lack of control, wasn't she? It felt horrible. "You're singing was lovely."

Lyra pouts, floating upside down with exaggerated tears falling like rain. "You're awful, Lucy! You didn't even listen, did you?"

"If I had, I'd be asleep by now," Lucy reminds the constellation easily. She _does_ have to make sure Lyra doesn't try to rearrange the contract like she has so many times before though. "If you don't mind, I'll make you dinner and listen to anything you want tonight?"

"My favorites?"

"Of course, with desert."

"Yay! I'll be waiting!" Honestly, the fact that two of her spirits are so easily swayed by food... Lucy sighs as Lyra disappears back into the celestial realm.

The vulcan’s possession ends once it’s knocked out, revealing Macao. The entire thing would've been over with if Natsu had just burst in a _minute_ later, but Lucy might just be venting because she has to part with Natsu’s blanket. She does so willingly, because words tend to lose power if you don't use them right and she _promised_ , but words don't erase the surrounding chill. Natsu cheers Macao up and carries the man back to the carriage with Lucy and Happy trailing along behind.

All in all, it’s a wonderfully heart-warming first adventure. Death is only teased at, nothing needs to be taken seriously, and Lucy thinks she and Natsu are friends now… At least, she’s something more to him than an annoying newbie, so Lucy will take her wins where she can get them.

Strawberry Street does indeed have an empty apartment with a crotchety old lady renting it out, so Lucy spends the jewel without second thought. She can’t remember much of how her home is supposed to look, but knows the bed belongs under the window and she needs a writing nook. Everything else can come later.

First, a dinner fit for a lyre.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took so long partly because the holidays got me out of my writing groove, and partly because I couldn't decide if I wanted to keep Taurus or not. The first version of the chapter kept him, and while I enjoyed it I just couldn't find it in me to post it, hence me avoiding an update despite technically having finished a version of this literal weeks before.  
> In the end I axed him because I don't just want this to be a complete retelling, and Taurus being gone will shake some other things up down the line. Plus, I just don't like writing "comedic" perverts, and since is pretty much for me...  
> I realize this is getting long, but if anyone bothers to read this I wanted you to know that there is no true plan for this. I have a lot of ideas, and some things are more set in stone than others, but if you have an idea tell me. I can't promise to write it in, but it would be interesting to see how others think this Lucy will influence the plot.


End file.
